Revive For a Vivid Life

Errors of perception are the very human gaffes that gain momentum and become the solecism of inaccuracy, misbelief, and misjudgment that cause an avalanche of delusion that inundate life.

Errors of Perception are, in other words, deficits of awareness and discernment, that gone unchecked, can lead to devastating results across the landscape of our lives.

One such error was recently corrected. I owned both the adult expression and the impact of my attachment style, holistically, right through the ever-loving radius of my life.

When it happens that I begin to feel emotional discomfort, particularly around ambiguity in certain relationship matters, I then feel a perceived lack of emotional safety.

This triggers anxious-avoidant and anxious-resistant attachment styles. I then experience difficulty regulating my emotions. The negatives reach a level of superfluidity and I’m not just “flooded,” I’m living in an emotional Atlantis. And this leads to catastrophes that are as life-altering as a California mudslide.

I think you get it— overwhelm, swamped, sunk, buried.

I was on my way home, looking at my shoes, and I had an epiphany after work—I’m a boxer after a fight.

It wasn’t about attachment . And it isn’t about a lack of drive and motivation. I’m not uninspired. It has nothing to do with procrastination, poor planning, not being proactive. It isn’t about fear, or anything—except one simple thing:

Being human.

The need is for recovery—as in after a boxing match.

Because like a lot of very human people, I’ve been fighting. I’ve gone the full 12 rounds. I need to recover now, not for work or relationships, but for me and my wellbeing. Because it’s all about having been a whole being in the ring, 12 rounds, never caught cold, bout after bout.

And what I authentically require is a strong recovery strategy, crucial both to my performance in the next bout of life and also to my overall growth. So, as in meditation, where we gently bring ourselves back to the breath, I need to return my focus to the point where I am a human being becoming more human.

There is really nothing outside of me that I need. I have everything I require. That’s how I define vulnerability—the authentic realization that I got this and when I don’t, nothing and no one will make any difference until I recover full awareness and responsiveness.

It can take a professional boxer as long as 3 months to recover after a 12-round fight. I’m looking at my shoes and realizing I’m beat up. My shoes are beat up. My life has gone 12 hard hitting rounds.

I’m not afraid or emotionally blocked or checking out. I’m fatigued and I need a recovery strategy.

I’m taking a cue from Lennox Lewis.

1. Do a long and slow cool down routine that includes stretching the imagination. I don’t need to stretch my abilities or knowledge or anything except creative thought.

2. Relax—for me that means enjoyment and refreshing the mind and spirit in whichever way I see fit.

3. Cook fun and healthy food on my Miami weekends.

4. Rest, sleep, and do or don’t do whatever else I find essential for recovery and healthy functioning.

5. Thinking through my process for myself on my terms and resting so I can be the most woke and most real for who I am today.

6. Disengage from social media—I don’t need any platitudes, motivational memes, inspirational quotes, gurus, perpetual positivity myths.

7. Recognize that to recover I need to do me. Right now I don’t need to be engaged in any external conceptions, convictions, or conclusions. I have my own essence, my own essentials if you will.

8. This is a time to repair and recuperate.

Revive for a vivid life.

There is no way to know what the next bout of life will demand, what it will bring into the ring. It’s all uncertain. And that’s why it’s so important to recover, then prepare, then get strong.

Prolific writer and author, Tove Jansson said, “All things are so very uncertain, and that’s exactly what makes me feel reassured.”

It’s a statement of resilience, self-trust, and presence. It’s a statement that’s aware of nuance.

It is my statement of recovery

-to surrender to the rhythms of life rather than going round after round.

-to seek comfort in the interconnectedness of life and the deep interconnections within.

-to rest and recover self amidst the cycles of birth, growth, decay, and death.

As Tennyson said:

That which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

This is my recovery—To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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Dispose of That Evil Sense of Being Swamped in 1 Easy Lesson

My anxiety and that evil sense of being swamped want to rear their ugly pimply heads, but I’m an adult and these two aren’t going to defeat me. Pshaw! The very idea!

I recently changed my habits and strategies. First of all, I now call them routines and action plans. Helps the mindset and it enhances my self-care. Trust me.

Habits sound negative. Strategies sound complicated. Routines and action plans sound easier.

I wish I could remember where I got this from so I could give credit where credit is due, but here it is anyway.

I write it all down on what I call my Giant List. Everything I want to do, everything I want to accomplish, everything I want to take action on. Write.it.down. My MacBook Air has a “Notes” app. I use the heck out f it.

I have a weekly prioritization ritual. I scan the Giant List and it’s obvious that I’m not getting all that stuff done today. I literally have a 100+ item list.

My anxiety and that evil sense of being swamped want to rear their ugly pimply heads, but I’m an adult and these two aren’t going to defeat me. Pshaw! The very idea!

My “ritual” is to ask myself, what 3 things do I need to accomplish that will guarantee this week will feel like a win?

I use the free app TickTick and input the 3 highest leverage, highest priority tasks from The Giant List and I let go of everything else.

This, oddly perhaps, helps me commit to taking action because I’m not setting myself up for frustration, or worse, failure. I tweak my 3 commitments so they’re realistically accomplishable in the next 7 days. And I get to work.

If I finish any of my 3 tasks sooner, I feel accomplished and I’m free to take a look at my list and add something else―an easter egg of sorts―something fun.

Remember―self-care needs to factor in here, brah.

I find that since I’ve been doing this, I’m much happier. The momentum is strong, and the results are improved. And I like concurrent rewards like doing tedious things at my favorite Starbucks instead of insisting that I soldier through it. Pshaw! The very idea!

Today is Sunday. It’s 81ºF/27ºC. My self-care is about Starbucks and lounging, chatting with friends, and reading with absolutely nothing hanging over my head. Freedom, people.

My “better half” (as my Mom so aptly calls her) is spending her weekend driving from Modesto to Huntington Beach to San Diego down the PCH and FaceTime is here so I can keep her company. I share in her travels. She sends me pics and FTs when she wants to see my mug. I love it. It’s freedom, people. *ahhhh*

Having control over my routine and action plan over the week gives me a self-care Sunday to breathe deeply and just be. Can’t beat it!